Parenting by the Numbers: Word Problems to Show You’re Not Alone

By Kerrie McLoughlin

Sometimes when you’re parenting you just don’t have all the answers. Nothing makes sense and things don’t always add up. Here I present to you some parenting math word problems, and I’m curious to see your answers. No cheating off the parent next to you!

1.      If 2 kids raise their hands to go here and 3 raise their hands to go there, how many tears were shed by the ones who did not get to go where they wanted?

2.      If the household runs the dishwasher twice a day and the washing machine once a day for one month straight, how many hours will the parents have to work to pay the electric bill? Bonus: How old will the kids be when they are able to clean the house while mom eats her Dove chocolates in the tub while watching Netflix or listening to an audiobook?

​3.      The kids made $45 at a recent garage sale during two days of the adults doing hard work and sitting around waiting for customers. The adults made about $10. Why do we keep having garage sales?

4.      Mom spends $123 at the discount grocery store, $132 at the big box store and $21 at the regular store on grocery shopping for two weeks of eatin’. How much faster did the grocery shopping get done without children?

5.      If X, Y and Z activities (drama, soccer, Scouts) are all going on at the same time in the same week, each week, calculate the trajectory of exactly when and where Mom will lose her mind.

6.      Calculate the distance between your house and the nearest Starbucks. The nearest liquor store. The nearest chocolate shop. Now figure how much it will cost for Uber to take you to all three. Better yet, when will Starbucks join Uber Eats?

7.      If your son invites over one friend and your daughter invites over two friends, how quickly will the food in your home disappear and how long until someone is accidentally injured while roughhousing? Bonus: where is the nearest store where you can purchase earplugs?

Kerrie McLoughlin is a homeschooling mom of five who just moved from the city to the country and lives to tell about it at TheKerrieShow.com.

More Articles

Changing the World for Two

A Sacramento family shares their story of adoption  By Allison Hopkins “A mother’s love for her child is like no other love. To be able to put that feeling aside because you want the best for your child is the most unselfish thing I know.” —Mary, American Adoptions Birthmother The story of Tristan and Brooklyn…

Teen Gaming

“Not Now, Mom, I’m in Combat!” Teens Have a Hard Time Turning Off Video Games, Even After Midnight By Robert Andrews “I know I probably shouldn’t stay up until 2:00am on school nights,” reports Gilberto, a 16 year-old high school junior in my biology class. “It’s just that, I’m really into my PlayStation. The competition…

Activities to Help Your Child Do Better in Math

By Janeen Lewis Is math homework giving you a headache? Do you dread hearing “I hate math!” every night? While math may seem boring or challenging to some children, it is helpful to everyday living, and good math skills can open doors to exciting jobs post-graduation. Try these tips to show children math can be…

Take on Tahoe

By Shannon Smith Sacramento families know how lucky they are to be able to jump in the car, take a short road trip and within a few hours find themselves exploring the beautiful Tahoe region. Who doesn’t love the snowcapped mountains, whether it’s just to play in the snow, ski, tube or snowboard. I just…

Helping Your Child Build Friendships

By Jan Pierce, MEd For many kids, building friendships comes as naturally as breathing in air or waking up in the morning. For others, the process is filled with landmines of fear, anxiety and discouragement. Experts agree that friendship-building is a skill—it can be learned. THE POPULAR KIDS Popular children, those successful in making friends,…

Prepare Your Child…and Yourself for Camp!

By American Camp Association For parents, the most heart-racing, adrenaline pumping moments happen when you let go and watch your child try something on his or her own. The moment the training wheels come off, the first trip down the driveway on the skateboard, the first time our children ride the school bus—these are more…

Getting Your Kids to Fall in Love with Reading

Written by Keira Regina Children love stories, whether they’re creating, watching or listening to them, but not every little kid enjoys reading them, as they may find it more of a chore rather than a hobby. Some research, shared by The Guardian, indicates that the motivation to read decreases in age, thus it’s important that children…

No Barriers to Play

Universally Accessible Playgrounds in Sacramento By Lauren Ivy Chiong If you are a parent of a special needs child, you might feel the playground options in Sacramento are few. Yet there are several universally accessible playgrounds in the area, hidden gems that will delight children of all abilities. One has a solar-system theme and special…

Know Your Child’s Learning Style

Like a computer, your child’s mind prefers information to be “coded” a certain way in order for him (or her) to fully understand incoming information. For this reason, auditory instruction may not “compute” for a visual learner the way text and pictures will. Likewise, if you want to get a message across to a kinesthetic…

Subscribe to the Parent Newsletter

Our latest articles, resources and tips—direct to your inbox.

Follow Sacramento Parent