Parenting by the Numbers: Word Problems to Show You’re Not Alone

By Kerrie McLoughlin

Sometimes when you’re parenting you just don’t have all the answers. Nothing makes sense and things don’t always add up. Here I present to you some parenting math word problems, and I’m curious to see your answers. No cheating off the parent next to you!

1.      If 2 kids raise their hands to go here and 3 raise their hands to go there, how many tears were shed by the ones who did not get to go where they wanted?

2.      If the household runs the dishwasher twice a day and the washing machine once a day for one month straight, how many hours will the parents have to work to pay the electric bill? Bonus: How old will the kids be when they are able to clean the house while mom eats her Dove chocolates in the tub while watching Netflix or listening to an audiobook?

​3.      The kids made $45 at a recent garage sale during two days of the adults doing hard work and sitting around waiting for customers. The adults made about $10. Why do we keep having garage sales?

4.      Mom spends $123 at the discount grocery store, $132 at the big box store and $21 at the regular store on grocery shopping for two weeks of eatin’. How much faster did the grocery shopping get done without children?

5.      If X, Y and Z activities (drama, soccer, Scouts) are all going on at the same time in the same week, each week, calculate the trajectory of exactly when and where Mom will lose her mind.

6.      Calculate the distance between your house and the nearest Starbucks. The nearest liquor store. The nearest chocolate shop. Now figure how much it will cost for Uber to take you to all three. Better yet, when will Starbucks join Uber Eats?

7.      If your son invites over one friend and your daughter invites over two friends, how quickly will the food in your home disappear and how long until someone is accidentally injured while roughhousing? Bonus: where is the nearest store where you can purchase earplugs?

Kerrie McLoughlin is a homeschooling mom of five who just moved from the city to the country and lives to tell about it at TheKerrieShow.com.

More Articles

Children with Autism May Benefit from Soluble Fiber

“Dr. Bill” Sears, M.D. comments on study that finds soluble guar fiber may improve chronic digestive issues and irritability.   …

Top 8 Water Safety Tips From Steve Wallen Swim School

By Kaleb Wallen, Steve Wallen Swim School 1. Enroll In Swim Lessons At Steve Wallen Swim school we believe that…

Fitting In as a Woman of Color

By Sumiti Mehta I am a brown-skinned woman born and raised in the Indian subcontinent. I have been in the…

Are You Tribeless?

By Anna Osborn, LMFT One of the favorite parts of my day is being able to pick my kids up…

Non-Pool Toys that are Perfect for the Pool

By Karissa Tunis Our family loves hanging out at the pool, and could literally spend all day (and all evening)…

20 Things to do with Kids Under $5 in the Sacramento Region

By Michelle Kopkash You don’t need a lot of money to provide a lot of love or make memories with…

Top Earth Day Celebrations in Our Region

By Michelle Kopkash Earth Day is a special occasion to teach our children about leaving the world a better place.…

A Museum Without Walls…Memorable Experiences Await Inside & Outside the Railroad Museum

A Smithsonian Affiliate located in Old Sacramento State Historic Park, the California State Railroad Museum is a must-visit destination perfect…

Greater Sacramento’s Best Hoppin’ Celebrations & Egg Hunts

Enjoy this Easter-themed round-up that will have the whole family egg-cited to celebrate the season. *Sometimes plans change, so please…

Parenting by the Numbers: Word Problems to Show You’re Not Alone

By Kerrie McLoughlin

Sometimes when you’re parenting you just don’t have all the answers. Nothing makes sense and things don’t always add up. Here I present to you some parenting math word problems, and I’m curious to see your answers. No cheating off the parent next to you!

1.      If 2 kids raise their hands to go here and 3 raise their hands to go there, how many tears were shed by the ones who did not get to go where they wanted?

2.      If the household runs the dishwasher twice a day and the washing machine once a day for one month straight, how many hours will the parents have to work to pay the electric bill? Bonus: How old will the kids be when they are able to clean the house while mom eats her Dove chocolates in the tub while watching Netflix or listening to an audiobook?

​3.      The kids made $45 at a recent garage sale during two days of the adults doing hard work and sitting around waiting for customers. The adults made about $10. Why do we keep having garage sales?

4.      Mom spends $123 at the discount grocery store, $132 at the big box store and $21 at the regular store on grocery shopping for two weeks of eatin’. How much faster did the grocery shopping get done without children?

5.      If X, Y and Z activities (drama, soccer, Scouts) are all going on at the same time in the same week, each week, calculate the trajectory of exactly when and where Mom will lose her mind.

6.      Calculate the distance between your house and the nearest Starbucks. The nearest liquor store. The nearest chocolate shop. Now figure how much it will cost for Uber to take you to all three. Better yet, when will Starbucks join Uber Eats?

7.      If your son invites over one friend and your daughter invites over two friends, how quickly will the food in your home disappear and how long until someone is accidentally injured while roughhousing? Bonus: where is the nearest store where you can purchase earplugs?

Kerrie McLoughlin is a homeschooling mom of five who just moved from the city to the country and lives to tell about it at TheKerrieShow.com.

More Articles

Children with Autism May Benefit from Soluble Fiber

“Dr. Bill” Sears, M.D. comments on study that finds soluble…

Top 8 Water Safety Tips From Steve Wallen Swim School

By Kaleb Wallen, Steve Wallen Swim School 1. Enroll In…

Fitting In as a Woman of Color

By Sumiti Mehta I am a brown-skinned woman born and…

Are You Tribeless?

By Anna Osborn, LMFT One of the favorite parts of…

Non-Pool Toys that are Perfect for the Pool

By Karissa Tunis Our family loves hanging out at the…

20 Things to do with Kids Under $5 in the Sacramento Region

By Michelle Kopkash You don’t need a lot of money…

Top Earth Day Celebrations in Our Region

By Michelle Kopkash Earth Day is a special occasion to…

A Museum Without Walls…Memorable Experiences Await Inside & Outside the Railroad Museum

A Smithsonian Affiliate located in Old Sacramento State Historic Park,…

Greater Sacramento’s Best Hoppin’ Celebrations & Egg Hunts

Enjoy this Easter-themed round-up that will have the whole family…

Follow Sacramento Parent